He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I have surprise drugs for everyone
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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