Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
