So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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