He kissed a someone with a penis
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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