bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Randomize
