My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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