Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
