I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
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