A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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