as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
