I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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