margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
