He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
