You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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