come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
