is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
