So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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