cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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