Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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