I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
