Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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