Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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