dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
