No awkward lesbian experiences without me
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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