Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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