did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Small penises have feelings too.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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