His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
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