I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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