People in love make me want to vomit
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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