I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
