ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
