hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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