I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
