Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
