Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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