I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
