you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Someone came in the potted fern
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
