i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
