Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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