I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You are a genius and a whore.
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