i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
