I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
