one word: firstdatebathroomanal
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
