my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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