Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
