Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
