i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
