Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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