your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
