You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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